1. I shall always abhor the subject of mathmatics. Though I had two professors that actually made it seem easy to understand, it will reamin...this semester...disliked.
2. For two years now, I have missed the GAF (German-American Festival for you non-Toledoans out there). Both times I have been sick. I am sensing that I am not meant to go to the GAF, and as a dear friend of mine pointed out today, it seems there could be a conspiracy. Who knows? What I do know: I missed seeing Polka Flloyd perform today and I was looking forward to it.
3. I am destined to reamin single. I just don't get where all the good, decent men are hiding...and I am tired of looking. Perhaps, the reason is so that I may continue dating jerks and can continue with my blog "The Faux Pas of Dating".
Perhaps I am just in a funk because my birthday is coming up in a week and I am afraid to say that at 33 this isn't where I expected my life to be. I guess I always thought things would have gone much differently and when I see friends or people that are younger than me as being happy and successful, I get a bit envious. I shouldn't be, I know...it's not their fault. They knew what they wanted from life, grabbed the bull by the horns, and took charge. Part of the problem for me was, I wasn't really sure what I wanted. I went with the flow and made some bad choices. When it was my turn to grab the horns, I got knocked to the ground. I admit that I am on the right track now in most areas and getting back up has been a very slow going process, but it happens a little more each day.
In two more years I plan to start a new career that will take me the rest of the way in my life, I have wonderful hobbies to fill my time with, hobbies that I would love to make more than hobbies someday. I have some incredible friends that love and support me. I am so greatful for that and they all know who they are. The only thing missing is that special someone to share it all with. I am missing that special someone that sees all of me and still wants to be with me. That special someone has to be out there that loves both the good and the bad parts of me....but I am so tired of looking, tired of searching. A friend of mine told me it was when you stop searching that it happens...well that hasn't happened either. I am great at helping my friends meet their significants....when is it my turn? Or am I being selfish?
So am I suppose to be content with being alone? And how in the hell do you find your other half in a world that is so big? Or even worse, what if you found that special someone once, but due to things outside your control, the two of you were no longer together? Are you suppose to settle for mediocre at that point? I guess I don't know the etiquette for things like this....
I am sorry that I have gone off on so many tangents, but all of this has been bubbling up inside for awhile and I needed to let it out.Thanks for letting me vent.
I remain, as always,
Yours
P.S. The two pics I am posting tonight are grouped in my favorites...enjoy.
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